And this is where the dream ends & reality begins

When does the bullshit end? I’m unbelievably thankful that I finally got a job and such. But there’s always something that has to rain on my parade. Can’t something just be great without having something go wrong, for once?? Apparently not. I’m not giving up hope. There’s a way this will end up working out. I realized tonight that no one in my family believes in me. Feels just so awesome? No. I’m not sure whether I feel more angry or hurt that they feel this way. Everyone makes mistakes but mine are so much worse to them I guess. Yeah, cause I’M the rebel child who got in trouble for doing stupid, stupid things. Hah, wait, it wasn’t me! But that doesn’t matter. Always being compared sucks. I’m not my brothers, my friends or anyone else. I’m me. I just want someone to believe in me for freaking once. Right now I’m having a whirlwind of emotions. I want to scream and yell. And cry and fall apart at the same time. I feel like I can’t tell anyone some of these situations cause they won’t understand. It’s a different situation for them and I know it for a fact. I want to tell someone though. Plus my two best friends went off to college and I’m giving them their room or whatever to have their fun, but I kinda feel forgotten and it sucks pretty much. My other best friends just started school so don’t want to bother them with this. Whatever, idk anymore.